UPDATE (i forget numbers)

It's been a while. We are back in our hometown. A few things have happened to both me and Hannah on our drive back we are not quite ready to discuss yet. But we might in the future. I'll have to ask her permission first. I don't want to disclose our personal lives with everyone without making sure she is okay with it.

I am distraught.

I know what I am supposed to be doing, but I will wait. I am not ready to face what I have been put on this Earth for. It both calls to me, and terrifies me. I will update soon with more. We'll see. Hannah needs me to be here for her right now. 

announcement

As I have lost a bet (as well as being sincere), I must declare something on this blog...

I AM IN LOVE WITH HANNAH DIVECCHIO!!!

There! You happy?!?!

36 DREAM OF OTHER WORLDS

After a long delay, I finally had another one of my odd dreams. I was in an abyss of darkness. Sounds pretentious and trite, but that's the best way to describe it, rather than saying it was really really dark. 

I was just there in this dark space floating around and about, when two red eyes opened before me. It was the giant man who always tried to kill me in my other dreams. I can't really recall his facial features other than his eyes, but I do remember his name. He was the WATCHER. 

I was very scared of him at first, thinking he might want to do me harm again. But the more I stayed with him, the more comforting his presence became. He told me that, a long long time ago, he created bridges between my world and other worlds. Each world was exactly the same in shape and form, the only thing that differed was the souls of the people that inhabited them. Even though the people that lived in each world looked alike, they were in fact very different beings in heart and mind. 

In the ancient days people used these bridges freely. But after some sort of incident, he locked up these bridges and sealed away in them the creatures that created this distress. 

Then he apologized for killing me in my dreams, but made sure to know that each time I envisioned someone's face, I was awakening the soul of one of these creatures that was sealed away. He was merely trying to stop me. So I guess in part, everything that has happened to Kyle, Justin, me and Hannah...it's all my fault.

At the realization of this, I began to weep in my dream. The WATCHER comforted me and told me that not all is lost. There is still something that can be done, but he couldn't tell me just yet. He said that as the PROPHET it will all soon be revealed to me.

I am heading back home tomorrow. It will take me a couple of days, but I think I know what I need to do: confront PLAGUE.

35 NO INTERNET FOR A WHILE

As our vacation progressed we moved more and more towards uninhabited regions, in which the internet's reach was null. We had a pretty good time. We are all the way in Vegas now, which is pretty sweet. I've never actually been, so it's quite awesome.

This update, however, is not to tell you what we're doing. It is actually in regards to the newest video posted on the Afraid At Home channel. The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LMC30r6Sko

If I was confused before, now I am more than ever. In the video Kyle seems to have no recollection of any of the past events in the channel. His looks make me assume that this video was taken before the videos on the channel, but the way he acts is different. He sounds way deuchier than in previous entries. Not to mention the house he lives in is different, as well as saying that he just got back from seeing his parents. I mean, what the fuck?

Is this a joke from FATHER and PLAGUE? If not I don't know what to make of this video.

34 UPDATE

Wow. Our brief vacation turned into something quite awesome. We borrowed Hannah's dad's RV and we went all the way to the Grand Canyon. We spent two days there, then we went to see some friends in Colorado. And now we are currently parked in a little town called Garden City in Kansas. It's pretty chill here. There is a sweet little zoo that is free to enter. We are having a blast.

It's good to leave the house for a while. I haven't had any odd dreams like I have in the past throughout the trip. But a few nights ago I had an odd feeling, like I shouldn't have left my house. I am almost scared to see what I may find once I get back. Because of that, me and Hannah will be on vacation for a little while longer. 

33 MORE THOUGHTS

Since as of lately I haven't had any odd dreams, or any odd occurrences, as well as no new videos from Plague, I've had a lot of time to think of things.

I just want to leave you with a lingering thought I've been having:

In the latest video, FATHER seems rather certain of finding SAVIOR among the followers of the AfraidAtHome channel. Well, what if SAVIOR is not among them? What then? Does FATHER keep searching elsewhere? And what of me then?

I am getting increasingly worried. I am leaving for a brief vacation with Hannah. I'll be back soon.

32 THOUGHTS AND FATHER/KYLE/WHATEVER THE HELL

So PLAGUE uploaded a new video of FATHER.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6vKOY9LzzQ

This one is dated 7-30-2012. What I get from this is that, because around that time I (the Prophet, I gather) have been "slacking off", he is desperately trying to find this Savior person and this Savior person might just be you (that is if you have been following the Afraidathome youtube channel). I am not sure what leads Kyle/FATHER to make this assessment, but, y'know? Why the fuck not? 

I heard this before from a user named Angela Ludia in the comment section of one of my blog entries. Apparently she is this Mediator Kyle/FATHER appointed to be the middle man between him and the common user. 

If you didn't catch it, PLAGUE needs you to answer the following questions (as well as your contact info, and you filming yourself answering these questions, or at least a picture of yourself):

1) Who rules DOMINION?
2) How many CHILDREN are there?
3) Where is WHISPER kept?

I'm not sure how to contact Angela, but in case you have a google+ account (you poor bastard) here is hers. Maybe you'll have some luck there: https://plus.google.com/101495626001399381494/posts

EDIT: YOU CAN CONTACT THE MEDIATOR RIGHT HERE: araennaleane@gmail.com

That is all for now. No new dreams to report, even though I must say that I have been seeing that pale white thing in some of my other (unrelated) dreams lately. 

31 THE WHITE CREATURE

I had another dream last night. It wasn't like the others at all. 

I was in the middle of a forest. It wasn't dark, but it was rather dim. I was walking through it. It was very peaceful and silent, but a very unnatural type of silence. When you're in a forest alone, you can still hear the sound of the wind blowing through the leaves, the sound of insects during their daily activities, as well as the sound of your own footsteps crackling on dead leaves. Here there was nothing, just the sound of my breath.

As I was walking I came across a giant tree. It was big, strong, and inviting. I headed towards it, when suddenly I realized there was something at the base of it moving. I hid behind a bush, and got a closer look. It was a naked man, or maybe a woman even. It really had no discernible features, except for its long claws and  small black eyes. It appeared to be eating something.

As I got a closer look I realized to my horror that its meal was...me. Suddenly I found myself dead, but conscious, as the creature kept devouring me. I could feel every single bite. Suddenly the creature spoke to me; not that it actually talked to me, but I heard its voice. It was chilling. It said: "They will come for you when they are done. Then the feast will begin."

I woke up right after that. I would dismiss it as just a regular dream, but the feeling I had throughout it was as real as the dreams I've had with Kyle and the faceless people.

I'm starting to be very restless...

You've got to be kidding me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkoGPr3sNoE

30-2 THE NIGHTMARE

So here's the deal: 

the other night I had one of the most stomach wrenching nightmare's I've had in my entire life. I don't really remember much of it, just the two red eyes staring, not at me, but inside me. It could see everything, all my faults, all my secrets. Then I heard a voice, but I don't remember what it said. Next thing I know I woke up trembling and bleeding from my nose. I headed to my computer to write it all down (failing miserably to make any sense). After writing everything, I threw up and passed out. 

The one thing that sticks out however is a series of names and phrases. The names were: Hannah, Kyle, Jake, and Plague.

The phrase was: "The mediator will find him."

I'm about to go to work now, so I just thought I'd make a quick update, in case anyone was actually concerned.

Good day.

30 THhE NIGthm=Mare

Fuck I don'r a
I just woke up from thnhe worst dream  i am still trembling. I justs need to get it on pblog

SSHIT! OH SHIT

The sounddds are back! The fucking sounds.!!

The red eyess we rein my head. I herad the vocie! HIS voice was terrible.'

I am bllloeding from mym nose


                          i don't underrstang
tHIOS IS NOT A JOKE

alll of this isn real 

I know the names!

KYLE

HANNAH

JAKE

i do not know the foorth. Just PLAGUE .

i wi

29 THE DREAM (FOURTH TIME)

I had not had "the dream" for a while now, until last night.

Everything was exactly as usual: people aligned, Hannah (looking beautiful in a Victorian era dress), and the other man, staring at me with worried eyes. I looked around not seeing Kyle this time.

I looked over at a man standing opposite Hannah. He was faceless, and wearing a suit, like all the others. I concentrated deeply to visualize his face, but something went wrong somewhere. The faceless man turned his head towards me. I suddenly felt a deep blow in my stomach. The man's suit suddenly turned into a cloak, with a hood, and his face turned into a mask. It was one of the masks those plague doctors used to wear, kind of like this:

The masked mad kept staring at me. Suddenly Kyle finally appeared. He was smiling a crooked smile. He walked up to me and softly whispered "My son has awakened. Now find the other children."

I must have given him the wrong look, because at that moment his smile turned to a frown, his eyes turned red, and he hit me in the stomach so hard I woke up instantly. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I've felt sick all day. I guess, either it was an extremely vivid dream, or Kyle is up to something...

28 HANNAH'S HOUSE

I finally summoned the courage to talk to Hannah. I went over last night. She seemed to have mixed feelings about seeing me: part of her was relieved after not hearing from me for days, while the other part was raging for the exact same reason. 


I explained to her everything, from the empty apartment to the blank files. She seemed a bit perplexed. She said her brother might still have the original copies of the reports in his room. We checked with her brother, but he didn't seem to remember any such reports. He then logged on to the police records from his computer and searched for 'Kyle Emerson': the search form read 'invalid entry'.


We went back to her room, and sat down without talking for a little while. But I could hear the sound of our thoughts scratching at the walls like claws...except those weren't our thoughts I was hearing. We both looked at each other as the weird sounds got louder and LOUDER and LOUDER! 


and suddenly stopped


There was silence for a few long seconds, then the power went out. I couldn't see anything but I could feel Hannah's hand reaching for mine. I held it tightly, as it shivered in fear. 


From the dark appeared to red eyes staring at us. They were filled with rage. In that moment, I longed for death, as it would've erased those horrible eyes from my memories. 


Hannah held back a scream. I asked the eyes what they wanted. I received a deep silence as an answer. The eyes suddenly disappeared into thin air, and the lights came back on.


Me and Hannah could finally breathe. 


I got up, and instinctively looked out of the window. Hannah begged me not to leave. The thought was no where near my head. Especially not, after seeing a tall man in a black hood staring at us from across the street. He saw me looking over at him and walked away.


I closed the curtains, kissed Hannah, and got under the covers with her.

27 KYLE'S APARTMENT

So two days ago (sorry I had a lot of work and personal stuff to tend to, to update) I asked my landlady if she had seen Kyle in a while. She seemed very confused, so I clarified by asking her about the tenant next door to mine. She seemed even more confused. Then she told me the last tenant moved out 4 months ago and she has had a hard time finding someone to move in. I, Zeke, the cynic, the bastard, called her out on this bullshit prank.


She seemed a bit offended, as she took her keys and walked with me to the apartment next door. She opened it and what I saw tied a knot in my stomach so harshly I almost threw up: NOTHING. 


Not a goddamn thing...


No furniture, no boxes, no Kyle. NO KYLE.


She asked me if everything was alright, as she obviously noticed I was perturbed. I lied. I went back home, and looked for all the papers Hannah's brother got for me regarding Kyle. 


I choked as I realized they were all blank.


I sat on my bed thinking all night.


I am sick. 


As I was sitting there I realized something. The world that surrounds us is our reality. In that moment when someone disproves your reality, your universe implodes within itself. I don't know what to do. Maybe this is what depressed people feel every day. Poor bastards.


My obsession with Kyle has been simply that: an obsession. Something crazy people do. Am I crazy?


I haven't talked to Hannah in two days. Maybe I need to. But I am scared. What's happening?

OF COURSE...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTMtpVkBr7o&feature=plcp

26 INACTIVITY

Well, there seems to be a lot of inactivity with the Plague account lately (as well as my poetry, but to be fair I doubt anyone actually cared/enjoyed it, so I promise I will stop). Not sure how to take that. To be fair, the whole Plague thing scared the shit out of me. Any time one of his videos is posted I start shaking inexplicably. 


Anyways, life is mostly back to normal. The sounds have ceased for the most part, and Kyle seems to have disappeared. Just for closure I might go ask the owner of the apartment complex if he moved out. Just to make sure...


Anyhow, someone has asked me where the Stargazer name came from. Because of my favorite band: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csPEitRRfuM

25 UUH

And here is where I get pissed off:


I did not write that colorful message from the previous post. At this point I'm starting to draw another parallel with Afraid At Home. 


-Messages written without the user's knowledge: check


Just in case, I made sure to tell Hannah and to ask her to tell me in case I start acting strange or drifting away similarly to what Kyle went through.


On the other hand, this could be a prank. Some asshole with nothing better to do hacked into my account and posted random meaningless bullshit. Very fucking funny man. I am so happy you got your laugh. Now I'm changing all my passwords, and if whoever it was (if this was a prank) does it again, I will go apeshit.


I apologize for my language, but I'm truly not in a good mood right now.

STARGAZER

STARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERGAZERGAZERGAZERSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARGAZERGAZERGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERGAZERGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARGAZERSTARSTARGAZERGAZERGAZERSTARSTARGAZERSTARSTARSTARGAZERGAZERGAZER

24 REPORT

Not much really has happened in the past few days. The sounds have been steadily decreasing: they used to go on for hours, but now they last only ten to twenty minutes at a time, which is good. 


I guess me and Hannah are 'dating' you might say. Not really a fan of that label, but another word to describe going steady with a girl I've developed romantic feeling towards eludes me. Oh...I guess I could say I'm going steady? Or is that term antiquated? 


Anyhow, I saw Kyle again the other day, after a long time. I was walking to work and he was standing across the street, just watching. He looked particularly pissed off. He did not approach me, I did not approach him. That was all.


I haven't had any new dreams lately.

INTERLUDE

As someone graciously messaged me, I have found this Youtube account by someone named "Plague". It appears to have nothing to do with me, but a video contains images of Kyle, as well as mentioning a "prophet", as Kyle did the other night. I warn you, as some of the videos may be NSFW.


PLAGUE'S YOUTUBE

23 DATE NIGHT

Last night, me and Hannah went out to eat. We were having a good time. I am starting to enjoy our time together even more lately. I have thoughts about us that I'm not willing to share with her just yet, but they remain there, etched permanently into my brain.


We got to the restaurant, and about twenty minutes into our meal, I noticed, sitting behind us at the bar area, Kyle. I asked Hannah to excuse me and I headed over there. I asked him what he was doing, and he answered by saying we needed to talk. I told him I was on a date: he ignored me. 


He went on to talk about how the process is taking too much time. He said that he thought the prophet would be more powerful, or some shit like that. I told him to stay away from me, to which he responded by threatening Hannah's safety. I was livid to say the least! I told him to stay away from us or I would call the police. He smiled, stood up, gave me a pat on the shoulder and walked out. 


I sat back down with Hannah, but my night was ruined. I know an empty threat when I hear one, and that sure as hell wasn't one.

22 THE DREAM (THIRD TIME)

Last night I had it again. Same old thing, seven people blah blah blah. Once again Kyle was there, and so was Hannah. She looked at me with sad, yet loving eyes. It felt like she was pitying me for some reason. I looked over at the person standing across from Hannah: it was a man this time. He was wearing a nice Victorian age suit, with a bow tie. As the rest of the people the man was faceless. I closed my eyes and concentrated. Like last time, the room quickly faded into darkness, as the giant red eyed man appeared out of thin air yet again. He commanded me to stop once more, but I kept thinking harder and harder.


He waved his hand towards me to crush me, but Kyle jumped in front of it and stopped it. I could feel a sort of power emanating from Kyle. It was sort of inhuman. 


Finally the face appeared on the man. He was handsome, with a beard, and he somewhat reminded me of Kyle. I guess Kyle thought the same: he walked up towards the man in awe (or was it shock), which soon turned into rage. He turned towards me, hatred filling his eyes, and left into the shadows. 


I woke up, confused, drained, and more tired than before I went to bed.

21 CHECKLIST AND SIMILARITIES

In the dim chances that whatever the fuck happened to Kyle was real, I think it might be happening to me and Hannah too. Here's a checklist:

-fucked up cryptic dreams: check!

-creepy crawley sounds in the walls: check!

-weird guy in a suit (even though in my case it's Kyle): SUPER CHECK!

Now, in the case that this is really happening (and I am sorry if I sweat disbelief but I am quite the cynic) then here is what I think is going on:

In Afraid At Home Kyle was possessed by this weird faceless entity after it was released into our world from some other dimension, or some shit like that. I was honestly a bit lost: the videos and the Pater Noster blog were confusing to keep up with. (seriously, who ever thought that Tumblr would be a good way to have a blog?) So, now that Kyle is possessed by this entity, the same sounds started over here. And Kyle lives next door...

Maybe the dream I'm having is the key. I think I get it! The sounds started in Hannah's house around the time I saw her face in my dream. Maybe Kyle wants me to find out who all of the faceless people are...and do what? Also, that implies that Kyle can somehow enter my dreams, which is preposterous. 

But we'll see. Next time I have the dream I'll visualize the next face. Maybe that will help...

20 SOMETHING'S OFF

Here is something a little bit odd: the sounds I told you guys a while ago have NOT fucking stopped! They are still going on every fucking night, and they are driving me crazy. I will tell management once more, and maybe ask them if I could switch apartments. A friend of mine had a bad roach problem a while ago and her management gave her a new apartment and ever gave her a deal on it. Hopefully something similar will happen.


But here's something weird: last night I stayed over at Hannah's house. We watched movies together, it was really fun. We fell asleep together late at night on her couch. Suddenly I was awakened by those same goddamn sounds from my apartment. Hannah was too tired so she didn't wake up. They were a bit softer and slower than the ones from my apartment, which led me to believe that I got so used to hearing those sounds at my place that I'm hearing them everywhere. Just fucking great!

19 WEEKEND

So, Hannah finally decided to make me pay her back for the favor she did for me. She made me go with her all the way out of town to take care of her grandmother's dogs for the weekend. It wasn't all that bad, though. We got to spend three days at her grandmother's cabin by ourselves. It was great: we went on hikes, we went for a swim in the lake near by, and we slept outside under the stars.


I've known Hannah since we were twelve, but in those three days we got closer than ever...much closer...


I am actually really happy right now.

18 HANNAH

I'm sorry I didn't update any time sooner. Right after I wrote the last blog entry, I called my friend Hannah. She said everything was fine. However, yesterday Hannah called me and told me about a recurring dream she has been having.


As she described it (and yes these are her words not mine): she was in a giant embryo of light in a sort of fetal stage. Suddenly she grew up into her current form, and was expelled from the embryo into a desert. She was naked, and the sun was killing her. She slowly started dying, and in an ultimate attempt at living, transformed herself into an oasis, with a water pool, and a palm tree, the whole nine yards. Out of nowhere, a man covered in ragged clothes walked up to the oasis. He was dirty and tired. The man took a drink from the oasis and suddenly felt his strength return to him. The man removed the rags from his face, revealing him to be me. I thanked the oasis and the light that birthed it and left.


She wasn't as freaked out about that dream as I was. I think there might be a connection to mine. What makes me think of this is the fact that she remembers the first time she had that dream coincided with me seeing her in my dream. Maybe if I can see the other people's faces I can put these pieces together more easily. Or maybe these are just dreams, and I am just disillusioned...

17 THE DREAM PT.2

I have been having a few nights of unrequited sleep the past few nights because of my work schedule. However, last night I did manage to get some good sleep, and I had that dream again.


The white room, the faceless people, Kyle approaching me: all was exactly the same. So I thought, maybe if I think harder I can see who these people are. So I did, and their faces slowly began to be etched upon those empty visages. 


And just like last time, the room turned pitch black and the giant man with the red eyes appeared again and shouted "NO!" I looked over to Kyle and he was softly smiling in a very encouraging way as to say "go on". So I did. 


I concentrated my hardest to make those faces appear, but this did not please the giant man. I couldn't see his face, as it was covered in wrath and darkness, but his red eyes blinded me. I shielded my face from the light. Suddenly, dark clouds began forming up in the air, and thunderous roars began pervading the room. I was scared, my legs were shaking. But I pressed on.


I finally managed to visualize the face of the person nearest to me, and to my surprise it turned out to be my best friend Hannah. Kyle smiled and walked towards her. I couldn't see what he was doing because at that moment the giant man walked up to me, grabbed me, and swallowed me whole.


I woke up, sweating, shaking, and with a bloody nose. I am still startled and exhausted right now. I feel drained. I don't know if any of what happened in that dream was real...


Only a crazy person would ask themselves that. I do, however need to check up on Hannah...and maybe even Kyle...

16 THIS SENSATION COMES NOT FROM

I know I said I might try to post poetry again, and this time, I swear I tried my best. I sat down at my desk, pen in my hand, and paper in front of me, and began to write. I wrote:


This sensation comes not from


And then my phone rang. I answered and it was the same muffled crackling voice as last time repeating the name James. I made sure they knew I wasn't James but it just kept going on. I hung up. I had enough of weird shit for a while.


Ironically, my doorbell rang, and standing there was Kyle in his goddamn suit. He asked me if he could come in. This time I reluctantly asked what he wanted from me. He said he needed to talk, to which I responded that if he wanted to talk there was a good a place as any.


He agreed and proceeded to ask me if I've had any weird dreams lately. I said no. He then told me he knew about me knowing about him and the Afraid At Home channel. I asked him if it was real: he ignored the question and told me that I need to think harder next time and to not listen to the giant man with the red eyes.


I was speechless.


He turned around and walked away. 


How the fuck did he know about my dream from the other night? 


I returned to the desk where I tried to keep writing the poem I started, but instead I took out my laptop and wrote this blog entry. I think I'm knee deep in some bad shit. 

15 THE DREAM

I am sure the dream I had last night was fueled by my reading of Kyle's blog. I'm sure you'll think the same once you hear what it is:


I was in a vast white room with no doors, or windows, or light of any sort (even though it was brightly illuminated by some sort of white neon-like light). I was standing in the middle of it with my eyes closed, but I could still see everything around me. Out of nowhere I found myself surrounded by seven faceless individuals. They were all dressed in what appeared to be Victorian age garbs. Three of them were women.


One of the individuals, who was wearing a nice black suit, walked up to me. Suddenly where there was nothing, a face appeared. It was Kyle's. He grabbed my hand and told me to think of faces for those people. I did. Slowly faces started to slowly appear on the other six people. But before they could appear completely the room turned black. From nowhere a giant man with red eyes appeared and said "NO!" 


I woke up right after. I am sure that my recent obsession with Kyle and his blog fueled this awkward dream. So I'll dismiss it...once again no poetry...


...maybe next time...

14 AFRAID AT HOME

I have been reading this blog and watching all the videos for the past few hours. That is definitely Kyle there, except he looks a bit different now. But it is absolutely him. I'm not sure if this is a joke thing or not, but I am slightly disturbed to say the least. All that shit couldn't have really happened to him, could it? I mean, there are weird distortions and his friend died, and then this random faceless man in a suit...now way that shit is real! 

You know what? I'm done with all this. Forget Kyle, and forget this afraid at home bullshit thing. I'm going to go back to what I started this blog for: sharing my shitty poetry. That's it! 

13 MAINTENANCE AND MORE ON KYLE

Today was a good day for updates.


I finally called maintenance yesterday and they arrived this morning. They came by and checked out my walls but found nothing wrong. Just in case they sprayed pest killers everywhere. Hopefully it's all gone.


Also, last night Hannah called me and gave me some info on Kyle. This is what her brother found out.


-his full name is Kyle Robert Emerson
-his mother disappeared years ago and his father died in a car crash.
-he has no criminal history whatsoever except for a parking ticket.


Those are some main points. Also he found out these little details:


-he is not from this state
-there was a frenzy of web activity on Kyle's part from March to mid April.
-also he was traced back to an email account named afraidathome@live.com


That's about it. Also, since he isn't from this here, if anyone knows anything about Kyle Robert Emerson, let me know.


I really don't know what to do with all this information really. I'm kinda sounding like a pathetic stalker, and it's scaring me. But I really can't get this guy out of my head!!! It's driving me insane! Fuck!

12 STUPID SOUNDS

So...those sounds from the other night came back. They just went from being a minor nuisance to pissing me right the fuck off. I'm calling management today. I'm paying a lot of rent to stay in the "nicer" part of town and shit like this is totally unacceptable.


Anyhow, Hannah told me her brother was working on finding stuff on Kyle. Maybe he'll have something by tonight or tomorrow. She also told me that I owe her big time, and that I'll have to pay her back soon...hopefully it's nothing I'll regret...

11 CRACKLE POP HISS

This one is dedicated to the weird sounds that started in my room about 3 hours ago. I've been trying to go to bed in vain.

CRACKLE POP HISS

Crackle pop hiss

Pervading from my walls

Hammering their way through my brain.

What ungodly creature could have

Summoned such a demonic sound

Keeping me from going to sleep

Crackle pop hiss

Thousands of ants in a file line

Creepy long legged spiders crawling

Ice knives stabbing water

Freezing the back of my head

Shooting chills down my spine

Crackle pop hiss

I want to fucking sleep!

----------------

I know this sucks...but it's all you get at this hour...

10 CHATROOM

Here's from a Skype chat I had saturday night with my best friend Hannah. 


Zeke Roberts: I saw that guy again
Hannah DiVecchio: fuck zeke! are you obbsessed?
Hannah DiVecchio: *obsessed
Zeke Roberts: No, I'm just saying he creeps me out.
Hannah DiVecchio: if someone creeps you out you stay away...
Zeke Roberts: I'm just curious is all. 
Hannah DiVecchio: mo like you got a crush!!!
Zeke Roberts: Fuck you.
Hannah DiVecchio: hostile!
Zeke Roberts: It's just that, the other night he came over and he was covered in blood.
Hannah DiVecchio: wtf? was he hurt?
Zeke Roberts: It wasn't his blood
Hannah DiVecchio: dafuq?
Zeke Roberts: I let him in and he cleaned himself. He told me his name was Kyle.
Hannah DiVecchio: are you fucking crazy? this guy could be in like the mafia or some shit like that.
Hannah DiVecchio: you said he had a suit.
Hannah DiVecchio: that shouldv'e been your first hint
Zeke Roberts: ...
Zeke Roberts: I highly doubt he's from the mafia. 
Hannah DiVecchio: im just sayin. what else did he do?
Zeke Roberts: He just washed his hands, told me his name and left.
Hannah DiVecchio: shit
Hannah DiVecchio: dude stay away. this guy is bad news
Zeke Roberts: That's the thing, I saw him again a couple days later, and he acted like none of what happened the other night actually happened.
Hannah DiVecchio: i',m telling you. this is mafia shit
Zeke Roberts: So here's what I need to ask you.
Hannah DiVecchio: fuck i could feel this coming an hour ago
Zeke Roberts: Could you please please please pretty pretty please ask Thom to do a quick check on this guy? Just to be safe?
Hannah DiVecchio: you want me to ask my cop brother to to a search on your crazy killer neighbor? what do i get out of this?
Zeke Roberts: My eternal gratitude?
Zeke Roberts: Hannah?
Hannah DiVecchio: you fucking owe me big time roberts
Zeke Roberts: Oh thank you thank you thank you! I LOVE YOU!
Hannah DiVecchio: yeah yeah
Hannah DiVecchio: save it 

09 KYLE IS A REAL LIFE CARMEN SANDIEGO

This morning I saw Kyle. I said hi, and asked if everything was okay. He smiled and asked me what I meant. I mentioned the other night, and he got slightly upset. He told me not to mention it again and left in a hurry. He's a real life Carmen Sandiego. Every time I get near him and ask questions, he vanishes. Without sounding creepy I wish I could find out more about this guy.

As soon as Kyle left, I got a call from a blocked number. I answered and all I heard was mumbling, strange beeps and static. I think I heard the name James within the white noise a couple times. The caller then hung up. It was extremely unremarkable, but since my life is boring I guess it's worth sharing. 

08 THE GRAVE ROBBER

THE GRAVE ROBBER 

As the smoke settles

(thick mix of cheap cigar

And strong Asian blend of

Spices compressed

In a single scented vine

Of incense)

I can see the page

Where my words supposedly come to life,

And jump out towards me

Like arrows

Flying through the smoke

Scraping my head,

Making me realize just how

Dull they really are.

I tried to jumpstart them,

I tried to breath life in their

Dead and dry lungs, but

These words are long gone

And now meaningless.

Useless.

So why do I keep writing?

Why do I force myself to

Dig out the corpses laying

In the graveyard in the back of my mind?

Maybe because somewhere inside of me

I can’t really bring myself to stop.

Maybe these zombies moaning and

Wobbling their way through these

White pages, spreading their black blood

Everywhere are just as alive

As any other creature that

Walks the earth.

Maybe the fact that I write them

Is enough to give them meaning.

Maybe this. Maybe that.

Maybe I’m just full of shit and complain too much.

Maybe I should just stop writing.

Maybe later.

07 KYLE

There was a knock on my door last night around 3 Am. It was my mysterious neighbor, once again wearing his suit. His hands were covered in blood. He asked if he could come in. I stupidly let him in without asking any questions. He headed towards the kitchen and washed the blood off his hands. The blood is still in there, I should probably clean it out. He kept looking out of the window frantically, as if someone was following him. After about ten minutes, he thanked me and headed out. Before leaving he said his name was Kyle. Immediately he ran out and headed into a dark alleyway. I don't know what it is about this guy, but I feel strangely comfortable around him, even during the awkwardness of his silence the other day. 


No poem today. 

06 ON HOW CHOPPING BASIL IS SOMEWHAT THERAPEUTIC

I saw the guy again, he was wearing the same suit. I introduced myself. I asked him his name. He just stood quietly looking around himself. I attempted to make small talk but it was no use. He never said anything. I felt really awkward so I just went to work. 


At work I came up with this weird thing.


ON HOW CHOPPING BASIL IS SOMEWHAT THERAPEUTIC 

The drama of the hour.

Workplace tension surrounding

Every corner, so much that it

Can be cut with a knife

And served as a filet.

The knife suddenly is in my hand,

And although the stress is

Served to me gratis on a

Golden platter, I rather not have any.

I turn my attention to the basil:

Humble green leaves scattered

Across the lime colored cutting board

Like sheep heading to the slaughter.

And I am the executioner.

With swift, quick chops,

I decapitate the head of the leaf.

Slowly the population grows,

Turning from few happy peasants,

To terrified masses.

I see the blood flow

From the green veins,

Filling the air with aromas

That stimulate multiple sense.

Wonderful.

Lustful.

Orgasmic.

I can’t stop.

I pick up a tin casket and

Fill it with the corpses

Of the once lively leaves.

My work is now complete.

I hold my wrist tight,

Now tired from the incessant chopping

And look around:

The thick musty smell of work induced stress

Is now substituted by the pungent and sensual

Aroma of the basil,

Which now lays dead in a small pan,

After embracing death just to

Bring food to life.

05 BOREDOM PERVADES

I just saw this man in a suit enter the apartment next door, he could have been in his mid twenties. He must be a new tenant. I said hi, but he just stared at me and then walked into the door. I don't know why but his hazel eyes gave me the chills. It's like I was frozen solid, and I couldn't look at anything else. I might be over reacting. He might just be shy. If I see him I will say hi. Anyhow, here's a quirky short one I wrote a little while ago:


BOREDOM PERVADES 

On this very moment

Time flies

Like the slow bird

At the end of the flock.

04 SEX IS A FOUR LETTER WORD

SEX IS A FOUR LETTER WORD

Sweet seductive voice of

Her from mere hours away,

Dangling the forbidden fruit

Over my head.

The lustful red lips utter

Words that make me quake

And shiver in utter passion

But no one is there for me

To share it with.

Moments that last a lifetime.

The fruit is right there,

Inviting and tempting,

But the more I reach out for it,

And the more I tell it I need it,

The more distant it gets.

The only sex in the air

Is the sound of the fruit

Fucking with my head.

03 SEA WATER FOLLIES

SEA WATER FOLLIES

Laying in front of the waves,

The children of the sea salt

Cover their arms and legs with sand.

Perfect blend of laughter and screams,

Pervade the air,

As the waves collide

With their fragile bodies.

And although at times oxygen might elude them,

Replaced by the sting of sea water,

They keep returning there,

Placing their bodies motionless

On the wet sand. 

02 SHE

SHE

In your arms

I am lifeless and frozen,

Melting away

In the warmth of your embrace.

Then the wind blows

Over the ocean of me:

A gentle warm breath

Giving me new life,

And finally

I breathe again.

01 YOU

A collection of some of my poetry. Some good some bad. Here's an awful one:

YOU

I remove the blankets

From my cold naked body

And rise out of my coffin.

The musty room around me is

Darkened by the curtains,

Sad gray clouds,

Blocking the light of the sun

From entering my somber chamber

Enveloped in solitude.

The will to stand eludes me

As my thoughts travel miles

Returning to you:

To your eyes, the infinite windows to your soul,

Staring into mine, paralyzing, gripping,

And haunting me;

To your scent, the likes which no man has ever smelt,

Which rapidly fades from my pillow

Where your head laid to rest.

I embrace it in the night, longing for you,

But the alluring perfume of your soft skin is long gone;

To your touch, soft and reassuring;

To your voice, beautiful, melodious,

Enchanting, prompting me to

Dive into the deadly waters and be

Dragged into the dark depths of the ocean

Where you, my siren, would sing to me

Your mindless words, as I eat every single one

In a hypnotized daze;

To your lips, forbidden fruits

Tempting me, and I cannot help myself

So I take, not one, but many

Long lasting bites of pure pleasure and bliss.

I long for the day when the clouds

Will move away, and the

Sunshine will once again invade my room.

And I welcome you in.

And I bathe in your beauty, my goddess,

My love.